Umor romanesc pe un site in engleza

Daca ati avut o zi lunga, sunteti stresati ori pur si simplu credeti ca meritati o portie de ras, aruncati o privire peste textele de pe Uncyclopedia (evident, cele despre romani si Romania). Am reprodus mai jos cateva fragmente din articolele gasite de mine:

Istoria Romaniei:

* Another important figure in Romanian history is Avram Iancu as a very important international diplomat. His incredible experience in foreign relations is revealed even in folk songs: “Urca Iancu pe statuie/Ca sa dea la unguri muie/ Si daca mai vor Ardeal/ Beleasca pula la cal” (a song about friendship between Hungarian and Romanian people, and the good economic contacts between them-notice the “pula” reference). (articolul intreg)

Adevarata istoria a Romaniei:

* Then the Romans came, saw, conquered – and left behind a good chunk of the gene pool, called the Dacians.

The Ottomans came, saw, conquered, but didn’t leave many genes behind, instead chosing to take genes, because they were currently on sale for $15.

The Austro-Hungarians came, saw, and conquered too, and took many genes with them also because they were still on sale.

The Communists came, saw, conquered, and attempted to multiply the gene pool, with disastrous effects that are still being adopted by desperate childless North Americans today.

Romanians never conquered anybody, because they were good, behaved, feared God, and have many secret traditions not to be shared with other inferior nations. But mostly because they don’t give a rat’s ass about about what other people do. Unless they say something bad about Hagi, then it’s World War 3. (articolul intreg)

Despre Gigi Becali:

* Jiji Becali (or “Berbecali din Pipera”), a natural born sheepherder, has grown on the outskirts of Bucharest in a small community of apes (Pipera) where the men are men and the sheep are scared. He was raised by a couple of irrascible wolves which made him a very strong and a heavily cultured man. Thus, the first three letters of the alphabet are no longer mystery to him! He has little to say but when he says it…. he repeats the same words 2-3 times so it appears that he has said a lot. “Bah-bah-bah bah, baiatule!” is his most common expression which means “Good morning and nice to meet you!”. (articolul intreg)

Despre Traian Basescu:

* Traian Basescu is the president of Romania. He was a very well known singer prior to becoming the president. He sang everyday at the Golden Şlitz restaurant in Bucharest. He also seems to enjoy the company of men rather than women. Rumours say he was engaged with Teodor Stolojan until they broke up and Traian started crying in late 2004. After that, Base had many sexual relationships with Cojocea The Fatman, until Cojocea left him. The president never recovered from the shock, and hired hundreds of kktzi hunters to kill The Fatman, but he disappeared into Casa Popoului’s basements and nobody heard of him again. (articolul intreg)

Despre Ceausescu (in romana, ca nu stia engleza).

Dragi toarasi si prietini! Asta ie un mesaji fuoarte impuortant pentrua tara! Sa intamplat o nienorocirie pientru tara. cried ca mau uomorat dar vuoi sa nu va lasati batuti. (articol intreg)

Un articol ce merita citit in intregime:

Marean van Ghelle “which is”(i.e:”care este”)

This sooted Eminescu of Bucharest is well known throughout the country as being the mayor of the 5th sector of the capital…just kidding…actually he is known for his disputable control of the Romanian language. As if it weren’t enough that he abusively uses “care este”(i.e.:”which is”) in every phraze his 2 shortcircuited neurons can produce, he also made a fool of himself..wait, a bigger fool of himself on a national TV show, where he couldn’t conjugate the verb “to be”. He “are” an influential figure, “which is” a respected addition to the Romanian wall of “lack of school” shame. Just read some almanahe, for God sake!